Beautiful Zachary  / Ali Sutton (Angel Mommy )

I just wanted to tell you that your tribute site has brought tears to my eyes.  It was 3 years ago, this past Valentine's Day, that I lost my 2 month old Angel, Saige. 

I also know the pain of making the decision you made.  Saige didn't have MRSA but she passed from an incurable lung disease.  She was also suffocating and it was the most horrible thing to have to go through.  We are mommies and we are supposed to be able to fix all boo-boo's.  When we can't, the feeling of hopelessness takes over.

Just know that Zachary knows that you did everything you could for him.  He is such a beautiful little Angel and I go on thinking that all of our little ones are keeping each other company until we join them again.

If you ever need anything, feel free to let me know.  Only a mommy knows what another mommy feels like.

Take care and I'm thinking about you and your family,

Ali

 

 

Close

Today / Mommy Misses U.
Was the day my son was buried... Today has been super difficult for me.. Lots of tears and pain and what ifs.. my heart hurts so bad and I miss my son so much.. i try to think of wht he would look like .. blonde hair or brown, blue eyes or brown.. how freakin cute he would be.... What I would give for him to run up to me and give me kisses and tell me he loves me.. like layla bug does.. she says momma i luv u... it melts my heart. I wonder what his words would sound like and wonder what shows he would like.. The little things the things we all take for granted.. I would give anything to have him back and to get to witness all his milestones.. Oh God I miss his little fingers and his toes, and how no matter how sick he was he would grasp my finger when he felt it.. like he knew I was there.. i cherish the nights after nights i stayed up and jsut starred at him since that is all i could do.. only holding him three times makes my heart hurt.. did he know i was there?? did he know I loved him?? Does he think I gave up hope.. I struggle with these thoughts they haunt me in my dreams they haunt me when im awake..



Tonight taking layla to the ER for her infected cut and them saying the word yet again MRSA.. kills my heart.. I fear for her life and for her having to battle this bug over and over again.. I am so affraid I am going to loose her to this stupid MRSA tooo.. It completly freaks me out.. as i sit here i watch her breathe in and out.. i watch her sleep peacefully so affraid of hwat happens if the meds dont work.. why now why does she keep getting it,, since we have had it so many times.. she so deserves better then this and i am so affraid for her.. I cant loose her to this.. it would KILL ME..But what do I do how do i keep this bug from taking her too it seems any scrape cut ar ouchy she gets it turns to MRSA no matter how clean i keep it.. WHat happens when the meds become resistent..



MY MIND IS FULL OF SADDNESS FOR ZACHARY AND FEAR FOR LAYLA BUG!!

Close

Remembering you on your 3rd angel day  / Mommy Misses U. (so so much`` )
Today is the day that god decideded to take you home 3yrs ago today.. I still dont understand it.. and my heart still is hurting like a thousand knives slashing it.. Why did he need you more then me I ask in tears screaming up to God .. yet no answers no answers noone knows why.. why you were needed so much more up there.. I have relived today a million times in my head as you lay in your isolation room getting sicker and slowly begining to realize there was no other way I had to set you free.. I had to give you to God.. I knew and still know he had the proper medicine in Heaven for you that NO DOCTOR COULD GIVE YOU HERE.. That your own mother could not nurse you back to health.. When your daddy and I made the decision to take you off life support.. my heart broke as i held you and watched you fight for your last breathes.. 11 minutes later you were wrapped in God's loving arms You had made it to the Golden gates of Heaven. I wanted you baby more then anything.. I hope you know that baby I hope you know that your momma wanted you more tehn lifeYou were and still are my baby. I dont understand why you had to go.. I still question that alot.. Yet I do know our Loving Savior Jesus Christ had better plans for you upstairs.. There has been plenty that I have questioned his motives, yet know he is rocking you today as you are asking him why your mommy is so sad.. Know Baby I love you Today, Tommorrow and always.. I loved you before you were BORN.. Even though you and your sister made me oh so sick.. I still loved you .. And I still love you today and always.. Close

Remembering Zachery  / Grammie Du Dennis (Great Grandmother )
rr Close

Happy Birthday Little Man!  / Manda Tadlock (Angelmommy to Saylor )
Your balloon release was magnificant in it's entirety.  Your mommy doesn't know it but behind my sunglasses I fought back tears as I watched the balloons float to heaven for you and my Saylor to play with.  3 years has passed and it still feels like yesterday.  Little man, I hope you had a wonderful birthday in Jesus' playground and that you and Saylor know how much your missed and LOVED!! Close